Session 018: Loving Kindness As A Tool To Solve Problems

Session 018: You Can Solve All Your Problems This Way

Talk + Guided Meditation Session 018: May 6th, 2020, by Sophia Ojha Ensslin and Cristof Ensslin

Banner Photo by Claudio Testa on Unsplash

Introduction

Alright, I know that the title is a bit over the top. But I want to present to you a method that I have begun practicing lately that has given me instant relief. No, it didn’t entirely make the problem go away but it gave me a new energy and a sense of resilience and even confidence that I can handle it.

So yes, in last class we talked about how we meditate to strengthen our mind so that we can navigate with what life brings us. That’s a powerful regular consistent practice. Then when you are faced with something challenging your calm, stable, happy mind/ compassionate mind can deal with it.

But we all get overwhelmed when we are inundated with multiple things happening. Imagine a juggler who is calmly juggling 4 balls. But then suddenly a fifth ball is thrown at him and then a sixth and then seventh. If the juggler is skilled at that level, then he can handle it. But if not, what happens? You can imagine the picture. So he goes back to his practice and starts practicing with 5, 6 and 7 balls.

Just like that, you are used to dealing with life as normal. But because of impermanence, things change. Things change in your physical life, in your family, with the weather, in society or a myriad other things that change and transition. Most times you can deal with a single change. But sometimes, many things change at the same time. And that’s when overwhelm, confusion and a sense of loss of control take over you. Your mind may go into a state of victimhood. This is happening to me and I have to bear this. That’s the level of the 7 balls. Everything being thrown at you all at the same time.

So what do you do when you are not a that advanced level yet, but you still have to deal with it? Of course, you do the best you can. You may do some breathing exercises, you may take a walk, go into nature, call a friend or bring out any number of techniques and methods from your happiness toolbox.

There’s one more tool that you can try and may be even add to your toolbox:

And that’s the Metta Tool. 

Talk

Guided Meditation

Handout

This week we have a 3-page handout. It is posted below as blog content for you. Plus, you can download it by clicking on the button below:

3 Step Metta Tool

1. Accepting how you are feeling. Ah, yes, I am feeling overwhelmed. Why am I feeling overwhelmed. Too much going on. Too many demands. I can’t find a breather. I am not used to this new situation. I don’t like this. I am used to it being differently. Ah, okay, those are good reasons to feel overwhelmed. You are allowed.
   
   

2. Give Metta - Loving kindness to yourself. Now you give yourself loving kindness. Now I am not an expert at this and am still learning what this means experientially. But sometimes you just have to practice and do what you know and grow into it and that’s the approach I am taking.
   
   So when I say give metta to yourself, it’s very much a simple wish - and the wish is, “May I be happy. May I be peaceful. May I be free from suffering.” It’s a simple wish and in that mode, you are accepting yourself fully and wishing for yourself to find peace and relief. 
   
   

3. Give Metta - Loving kindness to the situation or the other person. Now you do the same with the other person or the situation. You are giving metta and good wishes to them. Because you have this underlying wish and outlook generally in your life, you just remind yourself of that in the moment of crisis. We all want our brothers and sisters to be at peace all over the planet, regardless of who they are, and we want our animals and our ecosystems. We want peace and harmony right? This is something that is part of us. But sometimes it gets buried deep within us when other thoughts are taking center stage.
   
   So all you are doing is reminding yourself of this inherent goodwill in your heart. But more consciously in times of crisis, right? So now, your mind has moved from being stressed and overwhelmed about the situation or the numerous flying discs in the air or the persons or people involved and now become benevolent and calm and giving good wishes. This is powerful and can instantly remove the sharp edge of any situation you are in.
   

That’s my three step method that can solve all your problems. Agreed, the problem will not go away. But now you have greater wherewithal, capacity, energy, wisdom, patience to deal with it and be a source of peace and harmony instead.  You have just created more bandwidth for dealing with what life brings to your door.

Peace,
Sophia + Cristof