Session 015: Why Be Happy in the Face of Death
Session 015: Why Be Happy in the Face of Death
Banner Photo by Nils Leonhardt on Unsplash
In today’s talk, Cristof introduces the Death Contemplation meditation that helps to calm and free the mind in meditation.
Note: We have no recordings as I (Sophia) forgot to press record on Zoom!
Talk: Script/Handout see below, no recording available
Guided Meditation: No recording available
Handout
This week we have a 4-page handout. It is posted below as blog content for you. Plus, you can download it by clicking on the button below:
Why Be Happy in the Face of Death
Talk + Guided Meditation Session 015: Apr 15th, 2020, by Sophia Ojha Ensslin and Cristof Ensslin
It’s probably no news to you that the death toll of the current COVID-19 pandemic has surpassed 100 in North Carolina, 24,000 in the US, and 128,000 worldwide (according to Johns Hopkins University https://coronavirus.jhu.edu/map.html). Those are staggering numbers pointing us to how fragile life actually is. We all know that we have to die, but living through a time like this we realize how acute and sudden it can happen.
How can we be happy knowing that we may be dead tomorrow?
How can we be happy knowing that a loved one may pass away today or may have passed away recently?
Are we even allowed to live a happy life with so many people dying around the world?
What Really Matters
First of all, we need to realize that from the moment of our birth we have been on our way to the death bed. That’s inevitable and factual. And while this may sound depressive on first glance, the opposite is the case if we accept this reality as it is.
Does it really matter where we die? No.
Does it matter when we die? Not so much.
What really matters then? It’s how we die. And if we’re in the process of dying from day 1 of our life, then birth, life, and death are simply three viewing angles of one and the same phenomenon. Consequently, how we die equals how we live. How to live then?
In gratitude for every breath.
In gratitude for every smile.
In gratitude for every good thing in our life, whether big or small.
Giving love with every breath.
Giving love with every smile.
Giving from the heart in any way we can without expecting anything in return.
The result is more happiness for anyone whose life we touch.
The result is boundless joy in our own heart.
That’s how to live and how to die.
Does It Really Matter Though?
Now you may hear someone say: “if I could die any moment, then it doesn’t really matter how I live.” That would be a nihilistic approach. Of course, everyone can draw their own conclusions.
If you’ve ever seen or heard about the last moments of someone’s life, we recognize how soothing it is to know that the person passed away peacefully. We know intuitively that that’s favorable over being in agony or in pain, whether it’s during our lifetime or in our final seconds.
Sophia will share a story or two from an amazing book she read during her own one-day home retreat this past Sunday: Graceful Exits: How Great Beings Die (Death stories of Hindu, Tibetan Buddhist, and Zen masters) by Sushila Blackman (see for instance here on amazon: https://amzn.to/3bdl8wf). We’ll see from these documented examples how much awe a peaceful death can inspire.
Peace Is Beyond Religious Borders
And we know what creates peace: it’s the above mentioned. Accept reality as it is, be grateful for it and the opportunity to develop our mind, and think, speak, and do good.
That holds true beyond religious borders:
If you believe in God, this approach will bring you closer to God and a heavenly life after death.
If you follow Buddhism, you make merit, have a more peaceful life experience, reach deeper levels of meditation, and, thus, move closer to your own liberation, nirvana.
If you don’t follow any spiritual path, e.g. as a nihilist or an atheist, you know or can learn from experience that shared love means more love and therefore a more harmonious and peaceful existence.
The Buddha taught a method of meditation called death contemplation. Its purpose is to get in touch with the foundational reality that dying is an integral part of living. It can create deep inner peace, because nothing is more soothing than accepting reality as it is, not as we’d like it to be. This sheds light on our existence and helps us to let go of our clingings, of our aversions.
Ajahn Brahm teaches: “make peace, be kind, be gentle.” What he means is this very concept:
Make peace with what is, accept reality fully and free of judgement (Good? Bad? Who knows!?).
Embrace what is, care for the present moment and the beings and things in it by practicing gratitude and kindness.
In your reactions and actions, do as little harm as possible; think, speak, and act with the intention of gentleness.
Why Death Contemplation
Ajahn Appichato, a Buddhist monk for well over 20 years and one of Ajahn Brahm’s most senior disciples in Bodhinyana Monastery near Perth, Australia, taught me to use the method of death contemplation always in combination with metta meditation, meaning loving kindness meditation.
Last week, I had told you about the final meditation session during my one-day home retreat the previous Sunday. I had reported that the method of AGM (Acceptance, Gratitude, Metta) brought beautiful levels of stillness into my restless mind. I had also mentioned that I did another step that I didn’t want to share yet. Now is the time to reveal this secret: I added a death contemplation for a few minutes until my restless mind had subsided and given way to attention resting peacefully on the breath.
Ajahn Appichato shared a method of death contemplation using a mantra: “death is near”. Breathing in “death”, breathing out “is near”. He says that he sometimes uses the mantra for a long time, an hour or more, in his own meditations. To start off though, for us, he recommends to use it for a short time only, say five minutes. It has worked very well for me.
A mantra like this is not to be confused with a way of life, but rather be used as a mantra during meditation only for calming a restless mind. The view of reality that death may be around the corner can take away worries and regrets and recenter our attitude to what really matters.
Here’s a youtube link to one of Ajahn Appichato’s guided meditations using the above death contemplation mantra: https://youtu.be/FFzqgOrGFz8.
There are other ways to contemplate death. One method I have learned very recently from Ajahn Brahmali, another of Ajahn Brahm’s senior disciples, is to visualize our final hours and how the process of letting go becomes inevitable and actually leads to utter stillness and peace of mind. Here’s the youtube link to that one: https://youtu.be/Cydov60DVeQ.
This is how and why we can be happy in the face of death - be it our own or someone else’s.
So, let’s try it out in today’s meditation session. If it works, fine, if it doesn’t, drop it and move to a different meditation.
Peace,
Sophia + Cristof
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