Session 007: How to Cultivate Compassion
Banner Photo Source: Claudio Testa on Unsplash
In today’s meditation class, we talk about compassion and the pillars that support cultivating compassion in ourselves.
Talk
Guided Meditation
Handout
Once again, like last week, we have a 6-page handout. We gave it out in today’s class and now is posted below as blog content for you. Plus, you can download it by clicking on the button below:
How to Cultivate Compassion in Ourselves
Talk + Guided Meditation Session 007: Feb 19th, 2020, by Sophia Ojha Ensslin and Cristof Ensslin
Since two sessions of our weekly meditation classes ago, participants write an idea, a topic, or a goal that they want me to lead a meditation on. In last week’s class, the request on the little piece of paper that we drew from the bowl was, “Thoughtfulness for Others”. I led our group through a visualization where we floated over the mountains and sat by the edge of a waterfall. (You can listen to the guided visualization to a waterfall here: https://youtu.be/zheS3CrDzS4).
This process made me think deeper about the idea of thoughtfulness for others and how it is connected with compassion for oneself or self-compassion.
Where Does Thoughtfulness for Others Stem From?
What makes us care for someone else’s needs and wants? What makes us polite, courteous, and considerate towards other people? There are at least two things at play here — self-compassion and recognition of others’ suffering.
1. Filling up our own vase
We are aware of our life and, thus, our challenges. We also know when we make mistakes or do things that we know better not to. But then we are kind to ourselves. Like a kind mother caring for a scrape on her child’s knee, we, too, are kind. We, too, care for the wounds and aches and pains of our heart. When we know what it is like to forgive ourselves, love ourselves and be compassionate to our own suffering, it is then that we can offer these things to others. Otherwise, whatever kindness we extend to others is depleted very quickly.
It’s as if a vase half empty is trying to fill up to the brim another vase that’s completely empty. Soon, the first vase will be empty even if the second vase is now half full. The first vase needs to not only replenish itself but also be overflowing in order to be full itself and continue to fill up the other vase.
If we do not have compassion for ourselves, we cannot generate it for others. Being compassionate to others then begins with care, kindness, and compassion towards oneself. That’s the first part.
2. Others are also suffering
The second part of being compassionate towards others comes from the knowing and the recognition deep within us of the suffering that others are going through. Whether it is another human or animal, we recognize that there is inherent suffering that comes from having a physical body, having a restless mind. Even if people are smiling, there are fears, hurts, disappointments, not to mention illnesses that they are going through. We don’t always know the full story of a person’s inner world even when we know someone as a close friend. There are deep lines of pain that we are navigating through - whether we are aware of them or not. We know this suffering in our own lives and so we are able to see it and recognize it in the life of others.
Just by this very knowing, this very recognition, compassion for others arises in us. When we are aware of the unspoken pain that someone might be going through, we tend to lean towards kindness, towards giving people the benefit of the doubt, being generous in our forgiveness, being generous in how we think of them.
These two strands of awareness are what make us more thoughtful, more compassionate towards others. But there is a third aspect to compassion - understanding the law of Karma.
Understanding the Law of Karma Can Generate Compassion for Others
In Buddhist understanding of reality, Karma or the law of cause and effect also plays a role in compassion. In short, Karma (in Sanskrit) or Kamma (in Pali), means action. The law of Karma says that every action (thought, speech, deed) leads to a result. These results happen in this life or in future lives, according to Buddhist thought. When we hear the term Karma, we often consider it an equivalent of fate — something that’s inevitable and out of our control. But it’s not so, it’s way more practical.
“As we sow, so we shall reap.”
If we do something nice for someone, it makes us feel good. Conversely, if we do something to hurt someone else, a knot in our stomach develops or grows. That is the practical side of Karma. It’s as simple as that. It is in the here and now.
However, Karma has another aspect, the one regarding the future, including future lives. Our intention behind a thought, word or deed leaves an imprint in our mind that is like a seed. Given some time and the right conditions, it will sprout and grow and bear fruits.
Like a watermelon seed will grow to be a watermelon, and nothing but watermelon, the seeds in our mind will grow to be what their nature is. So, we will perceive bad things happening to us if we sow bad seeds, and good things if we sow good seeds. All of that is in our mind, of course, as all things that happen are neither good nor bad by themselves. (Note the word, “perceive”. We can perceive the same situation as good for us with good seeds and bad for us with bad seeds. Buddhism calls this phenomenon “emptiness”.)
Winning the lottery is a great example. It seems wonderful at first, but it can be a curse in disguise if we fear ending up in bankruptcy by overspending or our friends hating us from jealousy or distant relations coming obnoxiously knocking on our door.
Just like that, our death, often considered the ultimate bad happening to us, is neither good nor bad by itself. It may feel bad to us if we cling to our life, or bad for our families as they will be mourning. But, it could be a blessing if we feel good about leaving an inheritance to our heirs and the community, and if we feel good about our body becoming a feast for worms, fungi, and bacteria.
So, if we tend to sow good karmic seeds, we will feel good in the moment and our minds will tend to interpret the bright side of future events happening to ourselves. If we tend to sow bad karmic seeds, the opposite will happen, in the future of our present lives for sure, and, if we believe in rebirth, also in our future lives.
How hard can it be to really think wholesome thoughts, speak good words, and act kindly?
A story about Karma and compassion in practice
A couple of years ago, I took a two-week long course in Buddhism in Dharamsala, in Northern India. The course was taught by an Australian Buddhist Nun, Venerable Robina Courtin (learn more about her at www.robinacourtin.com). In one of the sessions, she spoke about how in Tibet the idea of Karma is so ingrained in people that it is almost second nature. She relayed a story of an event organized by Richard Gere in the United States where the Dalai Lama was invited along with other guests.
Among those invited, there were two Tibetan Buddhist Nuns who had been tortured by the Chinese military. But she said they had not an ounce of anger or resentment towards them. When asked why, they said that they knew that those actions taken by the soldiers would bring them back similar actions in the future. They were only creating future suffering for themselves and so, because of that future suffering they would go through, the nuns had compassion for the soldiers.
This story has stayed with me because these nuns were not allowing anger to arise within themselves. Not only that, they were cultivating compassion in their hearts towards the very people who were their perpetrators. Now that’s an advanced practice of inner-peace!
Salt in a glass of water
Whenever there is talk of Karma, there inevitably arises the question, “What about the bad seeds I sowed when I was not aware of what I was doing and the bad Karma from those past bad seeds coming back to haunt me in this life?”
To this I want to first say, take a deep breath. Understanding how Karma works can only help you navigate this life. Do not be afraid of past lives or past seeds. Why? The reason for this is — every time you now take an intentional good action, you increase your deposit/vault of good seeds, good Karma. The balance of good and bad action then tips more in favor of the good seeds. So when the conditions finally do ripen for you to experience the result of the former bad seeds, you will find yourself being supported by the positive effects of your good deeds.
So one may find that instead of a waterfall washing out your garden, the bad seed is more like a small creek that dampens your garden. You do experience the effects but the effect is smaller. Also, you may find that out of nowhere you receive enormous help and support to deal with that difficult situation that you may experience which is the positive effect of your good seeds.
Once I watched a video by Ajahn Brahmali, the Norwegian Monk who lives at Bodhinyana Monastery in Perth, Australia. He described the effect of good and bad Karma in this way. He said if you put a tablespoon of salt in a glass of water, what happens? The water becomes salty and unpalatable. But when you put a tablespoon of salt in a big pond or a lake, what happens? You can barely taste the saltiness. This is how you by intentionally putting in the effort to think good thoughts, speak good words and do good deeds, can reduce the impact of any bad thoughts, words or deeds you may have done in this life or in past lives.
It’s good because it helps others, bad because it harms others
A note on “good” and “bad” terminology that we have been using throughout this article. What qualifies as good? What qualifies as bad? In Buddha’s teachings, there are only the teachings of reality as it is. There is no moral or ethical code that is imposed externally because a group of people decided that this was right and this was wrong. Instead, good and bad are defined simply by the effects on others. If something is intended to be helpful to oneself or others, it is good. If something is intended to be harmful to oneself or others, it is bad.
In fact, I can even streamline the above and say, if it is harmful to others it is automatically harmful to oneself,
because we are all connected and interdependent,
when we think, speak or do deeds that are harmful to others, we will feel a bad feeling within us (a pit in our stomach, anger which harms our body physically, etc.), and
because hurting another will only come back to bite us in the future and thus be harmful to us.
What is bad = that which is harmful to others (and thus, to ourselves).
The Pillars Supporting Seeds of Compassion
Sowing seeds of compassion are clearly very positive seeds, for our present and future. We can help cultivate the seeds of compassion and help them germinate and come to fruition by understanding our own suffering, understanding the suffering of others, and by understanding how karma works.
Thank you! See you in class next week!
~ Sophia + Cristof
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