Session 072: We Can't Outsource Our Happiness

Let Go of Old Past Hurts Through This Exercise And Guided Visualization Meditation

High Country Meditators, Session 072: Jun 2nd, 2021, hosted and guided by Sophia Ojha Ensslin

Banner Photo by Clément Falize - Thank you!

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Contents

Enjoy today’s video above, exercise and meditate with us, and join us next time live here.

Hello and welcome to today’s weekly session of the High Country Meditators.

Intro + HCM - Sign up

My name is Sophia and this is Cristof. We started this group two years ago in 2019 as a local meetup and since 2020 are doing entirely online sessions. If you want to join us live on our Zoom meetings, then sign up here.

Reason why you are here - insight/healing

There is a reason why you were drawn to this session today. There is a gem of insight or a drop of healing that you are looking for and you might as well find it within you through today’s talk and meditation.

What Will Make You Happy?

Alright, to begin, I want you to bring to your mind a thought about that which you really want in your life right now. The thing that you feel will make you happy.

I will list a few things now and it may be one of those things or it may help jog your awareness of what you think will make you happy.

• It could be that you are living in the city and you want to move to the country and that will make you happy.

• Or you want a remote job that also pays really well or you want a promotion at your current job.

• It may be that you want a healthier, fitter body.

• Or it may be that you want to build a successful, million dollar business.

• You may want to know that you have enough to sustain you throughout your retirement.

• Or that your kids are happy and healthy and are thriving.

• Or that your parents are happy and healthy and are thriving.

• It may be that you want to write a book or get an award or sell all spots in your event or program.

• Or you looking for a romantic partner to come into your life.

• Or you simply want to sit inside a restaurant and have a meal like old times.

• It could be that you want more peace and respect in your community for people of all backgrounds.

• Or you want equal pay for women.

And these are just example of all kinds of wishes people have.

Pick One

Now pick one. And imagine that this one thing you wanted has come true. See yourself experiencing that thing that you said would make you happy. Are you happy?

Now pick two or three or even five items off that list. Are you happy?

Where am I going with all this?

Dreams and aspirations are fine - will make you happy

First of all, yes, have your desires and wants for your life. Have dreams and aspirations. Yes, life is going to be better when we have peace in our communities, when women get paid right and you can sit inside a restaurant to have a meal with friends. You will feel happier when you have a loving partner or when you have written a book or know that you can pay all your bills through retirement. Yes.

The Problem: Happiness derived from Material Things is Fleeting 

But know that in the achieving in those things is not where true happiness lies. Because that happiness derived from material things and people and events is fleeting, impermanent. You may have good health and wealth but if you don’t have mental peace, all of those things will not help.

Have Success but Something Makes You Lose Balance

You may have those outside material accomplishments but someone does something or says something, or someone doesn’t do something or doesn’t say something and you start harboring feelings of hurt, anger or resentment, then all those material accomplishments are not going to solve it for you. Or some old memory of a loss or hurt surfaces over and over and you are not able to move forward with your life. When you aren’t experiencing a calm, happy, equanimous mind, then your mental peace and balance is off. When something can trigger you, when something can make you lose your self or through you into sadness or even frustration, then your mind is not free. Your mind is clinging, wanting things to be a certain way, it is suffering and you are not happy.

Limitations of Materiality - Feeling: is this it?

So it’s great to have desires and it’s great to work towards achieving your dreams. But we need to remind ourselves of the limitations of the outside world, of the material world, of people and relationships. You cannot outsource your true happiness. 

Because when you have achieved all of the things in the outside world and still find a gaping hole in your heart, or when you get a sense of “is this it?” or “it’s not enough” “or there’s something else”, when you recognize the fleeting, impermanent nature of the joy and happiness that is derived from people, things, events and the external physical world, then, you will start to look within. Then you know that a deep inner-quest is beginning to happen.

Be like Lotus Flower

Do you know about the Lotus Effect? You see, the lotus flower has a hydrophobic water-repelling characteristic that helps it to self-clean. Water drops don’t dampen it, instead, they just roll away. And this characteristic is being studied by scientists to come up with water-resistant materials.

Well, just like the lotus flower has a self-cleaning mechanism, we do too. It's just that often it stays dormant within us.

The Ability To Be Still - Already Within You

What is this mechanism within us exactly? It's the ability to be still. By becoming still, calming our mind down, by non-engagement with our thoughts and by witnessing all that is happening within us, we dissolve physical and emotional pain, anger, hurt and other negative mind states. We let go of that which we are holding on to. We free ourselves.

So what happens in the outside world doesn’t affect our true inner-peace, our inner-joy, our sense of contentment is not affected. If health is not how we want it or if people say something or don’t do something that we want, we can still find refuge within our inner-peace, inner-joy. And we can still work to bring positive change but from a place of love not anger or fear.

Now it’s time for us to practice like the lotus flower. Let’s meditate.

Peace,
Sophia + Cristof