What is behind this need to empty?

An enquiry into my soul's wantings

Back in 2011, I had this phase when I started feeling this powerful urge to let go of things and items that belong to me. Personal letters, cards, essays and papers written for school and college and also reducing my vast collection of books. One day, I let go of piles and piles of creative writing assignments from my university studies, with no desire to scan and digitize them. I began with this stack of papers and lay them before me. I wanted to simply “reduce”. At first, I realised that this is a lot of painstaking work that I am simply discarding. To ease the process, I began separating those items that I felt some emotional connection to and made a little collection of them to keep. Very soon, the huge pile of papers was suddenly down to a handful of articles. And the big brown paper bag filled with my essays that I had sorted out for recycling, seemed like a big relief.

Then I went through some of my diaries and other self-awareness notes just from the previous two years. I began letting go of them as well. With some more things left to go through still, I decided to call it a day and went to bed. As I lay in bed, I wondered why I was going through this process of letting go of my belongings?

Photo by Callum Shaw on Unsplash

I realized that in the previous few years, I have intensified the process of recognizing my ego and bit by bit untangling myself from its grip, and making friends with it to serve my higher purpose. The next morning as I woke up, I had an epiphany. I realized that this letting go of my belongings was another way of disentangling myself from things that have become a form of attachment for my ego and a source of identity for myself. So it seems that intuitively, I embarked on this process with the desire to find out: what lies behind all this stuff that I call mine? I wanted to know:

What will I find when I take away all of these things that I own? What remains behind all of this stuff? Who am I without all of these things?

I feel going through this process physically, enabled me to feel a powerful impact. I don’t think I am done with this process yet and still simplifying my belongings. Here are some of things I experienced as a result of decluttering my personal writings and items.

As I let go of things: 

1. I feel light.

2. I feel unburdened with the care and organization of stuff that I do not actively need, use or connect with on a daily basis.

3. I feel free. 

4. I feel greater appreciation and even love for those things I do decide to keep.

5. I feel more spacious.

6. I practice being grateful and thanking my belongings for the service they have offered and letting them go.

7. The flow of energy out, feels good and uplifting. I am making space for all that is wanting to emerge through me and to me.

8. I make room for the flow of gifts of life and the universe.

9. I have more time to do things that fulfill me.

10. I feel more mobile, light and limber. 

Moreover, I felt a general sense of peace and joy filling my being. And I am not yet done. I am eager to go through some more of my things, and some more and some more, until I feel a sense of equilibrium and peace about the whole thing. 

And this has the potential to open up the door for me to come to the realization of the question: What remains behind all the things I own? Who am I? 

Emptiness and Simplicity are the catalysts for inner-peace within me.

The seed of this article was written on November 5th, 2011.