How to craft a mini-retreat at home?
Banner Photo Source: Gaetano Cessati
How to Craft a Mini-Silent-Retreat at Home?
If you are doing a meditation practice weekly, that's already more than not doing any at all. A daily meditation anchors you even more smoothly to your habit of training the mind. It's the day-to-day maintenance to keep the weeds out and cultivate the roses of your garden. If you can bracket your day with a meditation in the morning and one in the evening, you are helping yourself even more. That's something we are working to make a habit of.
What's also helpful is a long retreat of three, five or ten days during which your sole purpose is to cleanse your mind, quiet the mind and go into the depths of your mind to dissolve the "defilements" of greed, hatred and delusion that lead to unwholesome thoughts, speech, and actions.
But when such a retreat is not feasible right away, a one day at-home mini-meditation retreat can come into play. You can do it yourself or with the help of a friend. This is exactly what we are doing this Sunday, starting with a mini-retreat for Cristof.
Three, Five, Ten Day Retreats
Taking time off to go on a ten-day meditation retreat is a wonderful way to rejuvenate our tired minds from the hustle-bustle of our busy lives and to deepen one’s meditation experience. I have done this thrice in the last few years and have found immense benefits of shutting off from the world.
But a ten-day meditation retreat is not always feasible. Many people may not have the opportunity to take ten days off from work and be away from their kids and family. Or the idea of a ten-day meditation retreat sounds simply too daunting. The costs are not necessarily a big factor because a lot of meditation retreats in the Buddhist tradition are donation-based, although traveling costs to those places may be a consideration. Or it could be that you have found a retreat center but it is full already or the next retreat date is months away. In any of those situations, a mini-retreat at home could be the answer.
What is the purpose of a mini-retreat?
A mini-retreat is time spent in meditation and introspection at home with the goal of withdrawing yourself from the daily activities and obligations and taking time to go inwards. It gives your mind and body the time and space to recharge. It allows you to decompress, process open emotional issues, and to be the witness to what’s going on. A mini-retreat can also help you take a breather after an intense period in your life - whether from a busy period at work or an emotional challenge or physical illness that you just had to tackle in recent weeks. Such mini-retreats sprinkled into your schedule can be very helpful to do throughout the year.
How to do a mini-retreat?
The mini-retreat can be crafted in a variety of ways to suit your specific needs and time availability. It can be laid out as a three-day retreat or a one day program or half a day session. Obviously, a three-day retreat allows you ample time to go deep in your practice while a half a day session is a quick dip into your inner-world and a day program can allow you just enough time to mix in a few different introspective exercises. Think of the half-day retreat as the essential building block. You can then repeat it twice to make the one-day retreat. And then use it again to carve out a three-day retreat schedule. See my example below:
The Half-Day Retreat Schedule
The Day Retreat Schedule
The 3-Day Retreat Schedule
Morning
Breakfast
Meditation
Reading
Watching a Monk/Nun talk on a Buddhist idea
Meditation
Morning
Breakfast
Meditation
Reading
Watching a Monk/Nun talk on a Buddhist idea
Meditation
Lunch
Afternoon
Walk
Meditation
Reading
Watching a Monk/Nun talk on a Buddhist idea
Meditation
Dinner
Repeat the Day-Retreat Schedule on three consecutive days. Alternatively,
Day 1 : Half Day Retreat Schedule
Day 2: Day Retreat Schedule
Day 3: Half-Day Retreat Schedule
* Note: Keeping noble silence is very helpful to quiet the mind. If you need assistance or need to convey an important matter for logistics of your retreat to your family, you may of course speak (but as minimally as possible).
As you can see, the main components of the retreat include:
1. Time for Meditation
2. Time for Reading
3. Time for Listening To A Monk/Nun or someone who can expound on meditation or spiritual matters
I have not included writing or journaling because that involves a lot of mental activity. But if writing down insights or ideas is part of your process, try it out but limit the time you do that during the retreat so that you can stay present with the other components of the retreat.
Regardless of what schedule you pick, a mini-retreat will allow you the space you need for inner-work.
Where to do the mini-retreat?
If you have the means to do it, rent a lovely Air BnB that is calm and peaceful. If you are doing this by yourself, see that you arrange for food and other needs before the retreat starts. Pick up food for three days and freeze it so you only have to warm it up.
If you can get your kids and spouse or friends on board to help you accomplish this, you can do this at home and it becomes even easier. See if you can have a bedroom or just a corner of the house where you will be undisturbed and without interruptions. When family members are involved in helping you, you feel an extra juice of support and love when they take care of household duties and all you have to do is focus on your retreat. Children can also be involved, for example, they can ring the bell when your meditation session is over or even join you in meditation if they already have been introduced to meditation before. Generally speaking, see that it is a retreat where you have the least contact with people because if you see your children in the room, their adorableness may distract you from the task at hand! But do what works. If your day retreat makes your children want to meditate, hey, that’s a wonderfully positive thing.
Mini-Retreat at Our Home
Let me share with you how my husband and I are planning on a mini-retreat at the end of this month.
We agreed that we each want to do an annual ten-day meditation retreat. But in the months before and after the retreat, we want to do a one-day retreat per quarter, so four times a year. Each one will be in charge of arranging the retreat logistics for the other. In that way, the person doing the retreat can truly have a break from all responsibilities and be present with their process.
So we will first start off with a day-long retreat for Cristof. We picked a Sunday. I will take care of preparing and serving breakfast, lunch, and dinner and have it served in the kitchen. I will also ring the bell to denote the transition from one session to another. Tea will be served throughout the day in between meal times. Cristof will pre-select his reading materials as well as audio teachings from a Monk or a Nun before the retreat day.
The room where he will do the retreat will either be my office or our bedroom. My office is quiet and sparse. My office has a desk, a chair and an IKEA lounge Flottebo sofa bed. There are no books, papers or other office supplies in that room as all those things are very “loud” and overwhelming for me when I work. I like to work in as empty and orderly a space I can find. That’s why the office also makes for a great space for a meditation retreat. But if Cristof finds the chair and desk and the sofa unnecessary, then we can set everything up in the upstairs bedroom which is even more sparse. We have two Japanese futon mattresses on the floor, a meditation cushion, a floor lamp, and an IKEA Stockholm side table. The mattresses can be rolled up and put away into the closet and the table can be moved to another room creating an empty room with no furnishings. Then all that will remain is a small lamp which can be used for reading. I think I will post some photos of the space that he uses just for ideas and inspiration for your own retreat.
Cristof’s Day Retreat Schedule
Morning
4:55 am Wake up
5:00 am Meditate
6:00 am Read (with tea)
7:00 am Meditate
8:00 am Dhamma Talk (Monk/Nun audio)
9:00 am Breakfast
9:30 am Meditate
10:30 am Read (with tea)
11:00 am Meditate
Afternoon
12:00 pm Lunch
12:30 pm Walk
1:30 pm Meditate
2:30 pm Read
3:30 pm Meditate
4:30 pm Dhamma Talk (Monk/Nun audio) with tea
5:00 pm End of Retreat
*Writing/Journaling as insights arise.
**Noble silence is maintained in the house by all.
Ultimately, it’s important to carve out an area in your home that will be suitable for your needs. Give it a try. It won’t be perfect but you will learn more about what is helpful and conducive for your mediation/silent retreat and what is not and make adjustments along the way.
Do let us know in the comments if you have done such a retreat and what were your experiences like.
Peace,
Sophia
PS: If you’d like to see what books have inspired and helped me, see my list of favorite books here.
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Now, it’s your turn to share:
Have you done an at-home meditation retreat? What did you find conducive and helpful for your experience? What would you recommend others on their home retreat?
I’d love to know so please share in the comments below.
